I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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