is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
