Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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