Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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