What did we do last night that was yellow?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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