I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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