I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
