i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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