i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize