just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
