I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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