I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
