is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
