I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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