For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
