8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
