Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
a search helicopter?!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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