did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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