1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
