from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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