You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you made out with another girl for some wings
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
