Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
