My friends, they love my intelligence
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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