The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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