Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
