i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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