I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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