I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize