East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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