this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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