This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
