Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
