That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
