flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
