Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
