I want to stick my p in your. b.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
