Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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