Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
