have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
