In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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