Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
accomplished twins. life is a go
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
