Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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