Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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