Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
