My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
