dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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