Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
