And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
