I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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