theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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