We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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