come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
