Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
