Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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