Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
