so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sobbing to NWA
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
