Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
