fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
birth control should be required to get into college
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
