Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
