Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
