the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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