Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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