You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
