I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize